Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
