Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
