How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
