so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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