Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
