fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize