Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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