I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
