dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
