Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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