speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
