but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
