Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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