But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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