Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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