How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize