Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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