I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
