this beer tastes like vomit already
My balls are so social today.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
