Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
