Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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