you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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