She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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