when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
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I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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