When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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