...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
