I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
