I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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