a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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