the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
