the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
