She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
