I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
