So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
