Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
