if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How's work?
Spinning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
