I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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