the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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