dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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