Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
