covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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