the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
