After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
