It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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