we have officially lost it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
