So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
A bitchslap is in order.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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