I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
