I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
