There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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