I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize