he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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