All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
