these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
