Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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