Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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