I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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