Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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