My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I deserve this hangover.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
