So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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