she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
