I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
