it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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