Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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