Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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